Initial Session Guide: Genogram

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What is this guide for?

The initial session is the turning point. Within 45 to 90 minutes it is decided whether a sustainable counselling relationship develops, whether the concern can be addressed appropriately, and whether the client will return. Research and practice agree: whatever does not succeed in the initial session — joining, contracting, laying the groundwork for hypotheses — is painstakingly made up for in later sessions, or not at all.

A systemic initial session differs from the initial session in other schools in four respects: First, context before person — before the symptom can be understood, the relationships, roles, and mandates in the surrounding system must be clarified. Second, hypothesizing as a stance — from the very beginning, the practitioner develops provisional assumptions instead of searching for a diagnosis. Third, a multigenerational view — issues are placed in their biographical and family context; this is where the genogram comes in. Fourth, contracting as a central, mandatory task — who is the commissioner, who is the client, what is the concrete concern, and how will success be made measurable?

This guide draws on Schlippe/Schweitzer (Heidelberg model), Karl Tomm (Interventive Interviewing), and the Milan school (hypothesizing, circularity, neutrality). It offers three alternative opening scripts for different types of clients, selected transitional phrasings, a checklist for self-reflection after the session, and a 2-page practice pocket card to take into the session.

Contents: Preparation & setting · Three alternative opening scripts · Transition to genogram gathering · Closing & follow-up · Six typical difficult situations · Self-reflection · FAQ · Printing note · Practice pocket card · Sources.

## 1. Preparation — Materials, Setting, Time Frame Half an hour before the appointment often decides how the session will unfold. Anyone who hastily squeezes an initial session in between two other sessions signals it within the first 30 seconds: hurriedness, divided attention, no preparation. Clients register this — and sometimes this is what produces the "they were nice, but somehow not the right fit for me" effect. **Time frame.** Plan 60 minutes for the actual session, **plus 15 minutes of preparation beforehand and 15 minutes of follow-up afterward**. That is a 90-minute block in total, of which only one hour is spent in the room with the client. Anyone who does not take this ratio seriously deprives themselves of the most important tool of systemic work: reflective distance. **Materials on the table.** - GDPR consent form (separate template) — printed out, ready for signing - Counselling contract or fee information in written form - A large sheet of paper (A3 or two A4 in landscape) and two pens of different colors — for the first genogram sketch - A notepad for your own keywords, kept separate from the client's view - Calendar / appointment book — to be able to schedule a follow-up appointment right away - A glass of water for both parties **Setting in the room.** - Two chairs at a 90° angle (not directly opposite — that feels like an interrogation; not side by side — that prevents eye contact). Same seat height. A small table, placed to the side, not between the chairs. - Door securely closed. Phone silenced — including your own. For an online setting, use headphones with a microphone, a quiet background, and a neutral wall. - For a couple or family session: enough seats, no "adults vs. children" arrangement. For children, have age-appropriate materials ready (pens, modeling clay). **Before entering.** Three deep breaths. Ask yourself internally: "What do I know about this person? What don't I know?" If only the name and approximate reason for coming are known, that is normal — and good. Overly detailed advance research can hinder joining, because the practitioner then works toward a preconceived hypothesis instead of listening.

Quick check before the session: Am I present? Do I have water? Is the material complete? Is there anything personal lying around that does not belong here? If so: remove it.

## 2. Three Alternative Opening Scripts There is no single right way to begin. Clients arrive with different needs: some want to get started right away and tell everything, others need structure because they would otherwise lose their way. Some come with a concrete concern, others with the vague "I'm not doing well." The choice of opening should fit the client type and the mandate situation. The following are three field-tested scripts. Each script has a clear phase sequence of about 45 minutes, transitional phrasings for the bottlenecks, and a typical use case.

Script	When is it suitable?	Core question
A — Growth Arc	Client open, vague concern, no acute pressure	"What would it be like if that succeeded?"
B — Step Plan	Client needs structure, concrete topic, time pressure	"What is the first concrete step?"
C — Anchor Question	Crisis, high distress, risk of being overwhelmed	"What is keeping you going right now?"

### Script A — The Growth Arc (solution-/resource-oriented) Suitable for clients who come with a general wish for change but whose concern is still unclear. Inspired by solution-focused brief therapy (de Shazer/Berg) and the Heidelberg model.

Phase 1 (5 min) — Joining and framing

"It's good that you're here. Before we begin, let me briefly say two things about the framework: We have one hour today. I'll listen first, ask questions here and there, and at the end we'll consider whether and how we want to continue. Everything you say stays between us — confidentiality is set out in the form that we'll sign in a moment. And: you set the pace. Is that okay for you?"

Phase 2 (8 min) — Gathering the concern

"What brought you here today?" — and then listen, without interrupting. If the client falters: "Take your time, at your own pace. I'll jot down some keywords."

Phase 3 (8 min) — Opening up a vision of the goal

"Imagine we meet again in six months, and you say: 'Something has really changed.' How would you notice it? What would be different in everyday life then — in the morning, at work, in the evening?"

Phase 4 (10 min) — Resource inventory

"What has worked in your life before, when things got difficult? Who is by your side today — family, friends, colleagues? How did you manage to get this far?"

Phase 5 (10 min) — Transition to the genogram

"What you just described — the relationship with your mother, the constellation of siblings — I'd like to sketch out. It's called a genogram and is something like a family map. With it we get a better view of the patterns you're describing. May I?"

Phase 6 (4 min) — Closing

"What are you taking away today? What would be a good next step for you — even if we were never to see each other again?" Schedule an appointment. Sign the fee agreement/contract.

Adapt: With very reserved clients, omit Phase 3 and extend the resource phase. With very talkative clients, actively structure Phase 2 after 12 minutes ("I'm hearing three themes — which is the most important one for today?").

### Script B — The Step Plan (structure-oriented) Suitable for clients who bring a clearly defined problem and expect pragmatic counselling. More strongly aligned with solution-focused brief work, with a clear phase structure.

Phase 1 (3 min) — Greeting with agenda

"Hello. I suggest we proceed today as follows: First we'll briefly clarify what exactly brings you here. Then we'll look at what you concretely want to achieve. And at the end we'll agree on how to continue. One hour in total. Does that work for you?"

Phase 2 (10 min) — Defining the problem

"Describe the problem to me as concretely as possible. When did it first appear? In which situations does it show up? Who is all affected by it?"

Phase 3 (8 min) — Previous attempts

"What have you already tried? What helped — even just a little? What didn't work at all?"

Phase 4 (10 min) — Goal and success criterion

"When we reach the end of our work together — how would you notice that it was worthwhile? Please be as concrete as possible: What would you do, what would others notice?"

Phase 5 (10 min) — Transition to the genogram as a diagnostic tool

"Before we plan steps, we should understand the context. Family constellations shape how we deal with the issue. I'd like to draw a genogram with you — a kind of family tree with additional relationship lines. This helps us understand the pattern in which your problem appears. It takes about 20 minutes."

Phase 6 (4 min) — First step

"What would be the very first step? What could you do even before our next session? Which step would be small enough to be realistic, but big enough to move something?" Schedule an appointment.

Adapt: If the client names several problems at once, have them explicitly prioritize in Phase 2: "What needs to go first so that the rest becomes bearable?"

### Script C — The Anchor Question (crisis-stabilizing) Suitable for clients in crisis or with high emotional distress — separation, loss, acute conflict, suicidal thoughts in their history. Here the initial session is primarily stabilization, not structuring. Overview and safety take precedence over content.

Phase 1 (3 min) — Letting them arrive

"Have a seat. Take a breath. There's no appointment after yours — you can stay as long as you need. Would you like a glass of water?"

Phase 2 (5 min) — Anchor question

"Before we talk about what's hard: What is keeping you going right now? What got you out of bed today? Who or what gives you support — even if it's only a thin thread?"

Phase 3 (5 min) — Safety screening (always!)

"I ask this as a matter of routine in situations like this: Do you currently have thoughts of harming yourself? Of injuring yourself? Of leaving this life?" — If yes: get specific (Plan? Means? Timing?). Crisis mode (see Section 6).

Phase 4 (15 min) — Letting them talk about the present

"Tell me what's going on right now. Not the whole story — just the last few days. What is the hardest part?"

Phase 5 (10 min) — Resources and network

"Who knows about this? Who is by your side? Is there someone you'll tell today that you were here?"

Phase 6 (10 min) — Genogram OPTIONAL

Use the genogram in this session only if the client is visibly stabilized and signals interest. Otherwise postpone it to the next session. Instead: "We now know each other a little. In the next session we'll look at your family more closely together. Today the goal is for you to leave here with the feeling: there is a plan for the next few days."

Phase 7 (5 min) — Concrete plan for the next 48 hours

"What are you doing tonight? Who will you see tomorrow? If it gets really bad — who will you call?" — Have them write down emergency contacts, clarify your own availability, and if appropriate schedule a prompt follow-up appointment.

Important: Script C is no substitute for crisis intervention by a qualified professional. In cases of acute suicidality, danger to self or others, refer immediately to the medical on-call service (116 117), emergency services (112), or a psychiatric emergency department. In these cases confidentiality is set aside under § 34 StGB (justifying state of necessity) — document the balancing of interests.

## 3. Transition to Genogram Gathering The transition is the most delicate point. A moment ago the conversation was in full flow, and now suddenly dates of birth, family relationships, and family histories are called for. Anyone who makes the transition clumsy signals: "Now comes the administrative part." The genogram loses its power as a reflective tool and becomes a questionnaire. **Three field-tested transitional phrasings.**

Variant 1 — connecting

"You just told me something fascinating — that your mother and your sister no longer get along since your father died. Patterns like that often only become visible once you have the family in a picture. May I draw a family map with you? We call it a genogram. It takes about 20 minutes."

Variant 2 — methodical

"In my work I use a special method: the genogram. It's a kind of family tree that contains not only dates of birth but also relationship qualities, conflicts, and connections. Three generations are usually enough. I'll ask you questions and draw — you can interrupt or correct me at any time. Ready?"

Variant 3 — low-threshold

"I'd like to get to know your family a little better. Not in the sense of 'what did they all do' — but rather who is there at all. Parents, siblings, children, and perhaps the grandparents too. May I sketch this along as you talk?"

**What belongs in the genogram during the initial session.** - Three generations: client (ego), parents and siblings, grandparents. For the parents: briefly mention their siblings. More than that cannot be managed in an initial session — it becomes stressful and superficial. - Symbols following the McGoldrick/Gerson standard: □ man · ○ woman · ◇ unknown/non-binary gender · X = deceased (with date of death) - Marriage/partnership with date, separation/divorce with date (double line crossed out) - Relationship lines (close/distant/conflictual) only once all persons have been recorded — do not enter them in parallel with the person, because that breaks the flow of the narrative - Notes to the right: formative life events, occupations, places of residence **What does NOT belong in the initial-session genogram.** Detailed psychiatric diagnoses about family members, assumptions about substance use, legally sensitive allegations (abuse, violence) — if such topics come up, listen, validate, but do not write them in the diagram; instead put them in the protected notes section. Such content belongs in later sessions, with explicit consent to note it. **If the client declines the suggestion.** "I understand — some people need time for this. Can we save it for a later session?" Never push. Anyone who turns the genogram into a mandatory exercise loses the relationship. It works without the genogram — it is just poorer.

## 4. Closing & Follow-up The last 10 minutes of the initial session decide whether the client comes to the follow-up session motivated — or never calls again. Three things must happen in this phase: consolidation, agreement, and farewell. **Consolidation.** - "What are you taking away today? What was the most important thing for you?" — Wait for the answer. Don't summarize yourself before the client has done so. - Share a brief reflection of your own: "I noticed that …" — cautiously, hypothetically, not diagnostically. - If a genogram was drawn: briefly point to one observation in it that is probably new to the client. **Agreement.** - The setting question: "Would you like to continue?" — don't take it for granted. - Frequency and format: weekly, every two weeks, with or without family? - Sign the fee agreement/contract — if this did not happen at the start, do it now without fail. - Schedule the follow-up appointment directly in the calendar. If it's unclear, don't rely on "get in touch when you need it again" — that's the most common drop-out trap. - Have the GDPR consent signed (separate template). - If a homework task / observation assignment makes sense: keep it concrete and small ("Note down three times before the next session when you feel relaxed.") **Farewell.** Let the client stand up, accompany them to the door. No handshake unless the client clearly signals it (respect cultural and personal preferences). **Follow-up — the most important 15 minutes.** After the session, make undisturbed notes: 1. **First impression** in one sentence — what struck me? (before any hypothesis-building — the first impression is diagnostically valuable and fades quickly) 2. **Hypotheses** — three possible explanatory patterns, explicitly provisional. Hypothesize rather than diagnose. 3. **Mandate situation** — who is the commissioner (the client themselves? the youth welfare office? the partner?), what is the concrete mandate, who formulated it? 4. **Resonance** — what did the session do to me? Where did I get emotionally drawn in, where did I stay distant? This is material for supervision. 5. **Open points** — what remained unclear, what must be clarified in the next session?

## 5. Six Typical Difficult Situations Certain constellations recur in initial sessions. Here is a selection, each with one suggestion for how to deal with it. Not standard answers — suggestions for your own reflection. ### Situation 1 — The client talks without interruption After 12 minutes there has not been a single full stop; the narrative jumps between childhood, career, and current partnership. The conversation threatens to dissolve. **Suggestion:** Politely but firmly: "May I interrupt for a moment? I'm hearing three themes — your childhood, your work, your relationship. Which is the most important one for you today? Which one should we start with?" This turns the client into a co-structurer and makes the conversation steerable. ### Situation 2 — The client says: "I don't know what you want to know" A classic case, especially with people who have never sought counselling before or who are here under pressure (from a partner, from the youth welfare office). **Suggestion:** "You don't have to 'know' what I want to hear. It's about what brought you here. Maybe we'll start quite simply: What gave you the idea to come and sit here today?" — This shifts the focus from the pressure of expectations to the person's own motivation. ### Situation 3 — A couple comes, but only one of them wants counselling The client made the appointment; the partner sits next to them "because she/he wants it." Body language: arms crossed, short answers, the occasional eye-roll. **Suggestion:** Address this openly, without assigning blame. "I have the impression that one of you is here today mainly because the other person wanted it. Is that right? What is that like for you?" Then clarify: Do we want both of you here today — and address the differing motivations as part of the topic? Or do I start with an individual session and we decide later about couples counselling? Both are legitimate. Important: never pass over the unmotivated person, but invite them in as an observer. ### Situation 4 — The client cries right away Tears from the very first sentence — the person has held out for a long time, and now something is breaking open. **Suggestion:** Say nothing. Push a tissue within reach. Hold your own presence, do not placate ("It'll be all right" is off-limits). After half a minute of silence: "Take your time." Only when the client wants to continue speaking should you carefully move on. If the tears continue over several minutes and words are barely possible: "Sometimes it helps to take a moment to breathe. Would you like to stand up briefly? Would you like to clarify something practical first — how we'll continue — before we go deeper?" ### Situation 5 — The client asks the practitioner personal questions "Do you have children yourself? Are you married? How old are you?" — Often a test of the basis for trust. **Suggestion:** A short, sparing answer, then back to the client. "I have two children myself, yes. — What is it about the question that's on your mind?" Never refuse brusquely ("That's irrelevant here") — that damages the relationship. But don't become the topic yourself, either. ### Situation 6 — The client speaks of acute endangerment During the session, suicidal thoughts, domestic violence, or a risk to a child's welfare become apparent. **Suggestion:** Immediately slow the pace down. Ask concretely: In the case of suicidality — plan? means? timing? history? In the case of violence — current? tonight? children in the household? In the case of a risk to a child's welfare — the children's ages, the present situation. Then clarify your own scope for action: Acute suicidality → medical on-call service (116 117) or emergency services (112). Acute violence → the helpline Violence Against Women (08000 116 016) or police (110). Risk to a child's welfare → consultation with a duly experienced professional (insoweit erfahrene Fachkraft, insoFa) under § 8a SGB VIII, and if necessary inform the youth welfare office. In these cases confidentiality may be broken under § 34 StGB (justifying state of necessity) — the balancing of interests must be documented. In cases involving a risk to a child's welfare, follow the graduated procedure under § 4 KKG: first with the parents, then with the insoFa, then if necessary with the youth welfare office.

## 6. Self-reflection after the initial session — a checklist These questions are for your own notes, not for the file. They sharpen professional perception and are the most important material for supervision. - **Joining** — was I able to establish a relationship? At which point was the conversation most intense? Where was there distance? - **Mandate** — is it clear to me what the client wants from me? Did I ask, or did I assume? - **Hypotheses** — do I have more than one explanation in mind? Or have I gotten stuck on a single hypothesis? - **My own resonance** — what did the conversation trigger in me? Where was I emotionally engaged, where bored, where distracted? - **Setting fit** — does the format offered (individual, couple, family, frequency) match the mandate as I understood it? - **Limits** — are there signs that this mandate exceeds my competence, my setting, or my role? Do I need a referral, co-therapy, supervision?

FAQ — Six key questions from practice

1. Should I already charge a fee for the initial session?

The usual practice is: the initial session is billed like a regular session — counselling begins with the first sentence, not with the second appointment. Some practitioners offer a free 15-minute preliminary conversation by phone to clarify fit, and bill from the initial session in the room onward. The important thing is to communicate this beforehand — no surprise invoice.

2. How many sessions do I recommend at the end of the initial session?

Systemic counselling mostly works with 5 to 15 sessions — short compared to psychoanalytic or behavioral-therapy work. At the end of the initial session, however, it's advisable not to recommend a fixed number, but a time-limited first stage: "Let's agree on three sessions and then look together at whether and how we continue." This guards against over-engagement and gives the client a sense of security.

3. What if at the end I think: this case is beyond me?

That is honorable and professional. Direct options: (a) seek supervision and then decide; (b) offer co-counselling with a more experienced colleague; (c) refer to a more competent provider. When referring, never phrase it as "having yourself turned away by me" — instead "with this constellation I believe you'd be in better hands with XY." Facilitate the contact, don't just give a name.

4. May I already draw a genogram in the initial session?

Yes — if the transition is right and the client is ready for it. Three generations are enough; more is overwhelming. But: it's not a mandatory program. If the session is mainly crisis-stabilizing (Script C), postpone the genogram to the next session. The tool must serve the concern, not the other way around.

5. Should I take notes during the initial session?

Sparingly — keywords, not a transcript. Anyone who writes constantly is not present. What makes sense: between the phases, briefly record what the client said exactly (verbatim phrasings are important). After the session, document more thoroughly within the first 15 minutes. What belongs in the file and what is only for your own reflection: make this transparent at the start.

6. What should I do if, after the initial session, I don't know how to continue?

That is more common than you'd think — and not a failure. Options: wait and reflect for a few days, then formulate a hypothesis for the next session. In case of uncertainty: supervision or peer consultation. Before the follow-up session, briefly discuss two or three possible directions with the client and choose together. That is not unprofessional, but participatory.

Practice pocket card to take along

The following pages contain printable practice material for the initial session. You can detach these pages, take them into the counselling setting, and fill them in during the session.

Page 1 — Phase overview as a 3-column table for your pocket.
Page 2 — Setting check and script selection as a checklist for preparation.
Page 3 — Notes sheet with lines for the first keywords during the session.
The explanations for each phase can be found on the preceding pages.

Phase Overview — Initial Session

Phase	What do I say?	What do I watch for?
1. Joining (5')	"It's good that you're here. We have one hour today. What brought you here?"	Posture, breathing, first resonance
2. Concern (10–15')	Listen. Ask questions. "Tell me more about that."	Themes, commissioner, mood
3. Mandate (8')	"What do you wish for from our work together?" / "How would you notice that it was worthwhile?"	Concreteness, realism, agreement
4. Resources (8')	"What has worked before? Who is by your side?"	Strengths, network, hope
5. Genogram (15–20')	"I'd like to get to know your family a little better — may I sketch along?"	Three generations, symbols, notes
6. Closing (8')	"What are you taking away today? How should we continue?"	Agreement, contract, follow-up appointment

Transitional phrasings — quick at hand

"May I interrupt for a moment — I'm hearing three themes."
"We now have half an hour — what else is important to you before we move to the closing?"
"I'd like to sketch this out — sometimes it's easier to see that way."
"I noticed … — how do you see it?"

Setting Check and Script Selection

Before the session — setting check

☐ Chairs at a 90° angle, same seat height
☐ Door closed, phone silenced
☐ GDPR consent ready at hand
☐ Counselling contract / fee info ready at hand
☐ Large sheet + two pens for the first genogram
☐ Water for both
☐ Calendar for the follow-up appointment
☐ Your own breathing exercise — three breaths

Which script fits?

☐ A — Growth Arc: open, vague concern, no pressure → solution & resources
☐ B — Step Plan: concrete problem, wish for structure → definition & plan
☐ C — Anchor Question: crisis, high distress → support & safety

After the session — self-reflection (3 min)

First impression in one sentence:

Three hypotheses (provisional):

Mandate — who wants what from whom?

My own resonance / open points for supervision:

Notes during the session

Date / Setting / Code

Concern in 1 sentence

Mandate (who wants what from whom?)

Success criterion ("How would you notice …?")

Resources / Supports

First hypotheses / observations

Agreement / Follow-up appointment

Sources and further reading

Schlippe, Arist von / Schweitzer, Jochen: Lehrbuch der systemischen Therapie und Beratung I — Das Grundlagenwissen. Vandenhoeck & Ruprecht. Standard reference for contracting, hypothesis-building, and the initial session in a systemic setting.
Schlippe / Schweitzer: Lehrbuch der systemischen Therapie und Beratung II — Das störungsspezifische Wissen. V&R. Initial-session guidance according to the problem constellation.
McGoldrick, Monica / Gerson, Randy / Petry, Sueli (2020): Genograms — Assessment and Treatment, 4th edition. W. W. Norton. The authoritative work for genogram gathering in the initial session (three-generation standard).
Tomm, Karl (1987/1988): Interventive Interviewing I–III, Family Process 26/27. Four question types (linear, circular, strategic, reflexive) as a framework for structuring.
Boscolo, Cecchin, Hoffman, Penn: Milan Systemic Family Therapy — Conversations in Theory and Practice. The Milan school: hypothesizing, circularity, neutrality.
de Shazer, Steve / Berg, Insoo Kim: Lösungsorientierte Kurzzeittherapie. Carl-Auer. The miracle question, scaling questions, exceptions.
DGSF — Deutsche Gesellschaft für Systemische Therapie, Beratung und Familientherapie (dgsf.org). Professional association with curriculum, knowledge portal, and specialist articles on contracting.
Systemische Gesellschaft (SG) (systemische-gesellschaft.de). Framework guidelines for systemic counselling training programs.
Carl-Auer-Lexikon des systemischen Arbeitens — entry "Lösungsfokussierung," freely available online (carl-auer.de/magazin/systemisches-lexikon).
§§ 8a SGB VIII, 4 KKG, 34 StGB — the legal framework for child-welfare endangerment and confidentiality in an acute state of necessity.
GDPR Art. 13 — the duty to provide information about data processing in the initial session.

Sources as of 2026-06-03. The methodological inventory and pool of questions are expanded with each edition of the textbooks — for recommended editions see the publishers' information.

#erstgespraech #mehrgenerationen