The standard genogram symbols — square, circle, marriage line, descent line — were developed within heteronormative and cisnormative assumptions. Anyone wishing to represent queer families structurally, rather than as a mere footnote, needs an expanded vocabulary and a reflective stance.

Heteronormativity as the Blind Spot of the Standard

When Monica McGoldrick and Randy Gerson published Genograms in Family Assessment in 1985, their symbolism was based on a family form considered the standard: a heterosexual, cisgender couple, joint biological children, a marriage. The symbols — □ for man, ○ for woman, a horizontal line for marriage, downward lines for children — efficiently depict this form. However, as soon as chosen families, multi-parent constellations, trans* biographies, or polyamorous structures come into play, the notation reaches its limits.

The point is not that the symbols are "wrong" — they are precise for a particular family form. The point is that notation structures perception: what cannot be depicted is easily overlooked in conversation. If you are working with a 17-year-old trans* youth and can only visualise the biological family of origin, you systematically miss where this young person actually finds resources.

Symbol Extensions: A Non-Binding Consensus

There is no binding symbol standard for queer families — software tools (GenoEasy, GenoPro, Wonder Family Tree, Familygram) use different conventions, and the professional literature is also inconsistent. In practice, however, several extensions have become established, systematically documented by Galvin (2014) and Belous et al. (2012):

  • Gender identity beyond the binary — a diamond (◇) or a composite symbol for non-binary individuals; alternatively, a circle with an arrow or an open-ended shape.
  • Trans* marker — a small "T" on the symbol, or a split symbol indicating birth and lived identity, depending on the client’s preference.
  • Transition date — date as an annotation; analogous to marriage or migration as a biographical marker.
  • Chosen family — a distinct line type (often solid, in a contrasting colour) marking belonging beyond biological or legal ties.
  • Multiple partnerships — for polyamorous constellations, a shared node can be used where several partners are connected; some tools use concentric circles.
  • Co-parenting — dashed parent-child lines between social parents and children who are not biologically related.

Important: The symbols should be agreed upon in conversation with the client — whoever decides how a relationship is visualised regains part of the definitional power over their own story.

Representing Chosen Family as Equal

The term chosen family originates from the queer community of the 1980s, especially in the context of the AIDS crisis, when many gay men were rejected by their families of origin and formed new family structures. Kath Weston sociologically documented this reality in Families We Choose (1991).

For genogram work, this means: chosen family is not "friendship of a special kind", but a functionally equivalent family structure — people who care for each other, weather crises together, share financial responsibility, raise children together. In the genogram, it should appear with the same structural visibility as the biological family, not relegated to a side corner.

In practice, the question "Who is your family?" — asked without preconceptions — often proves to be the crucial first step. For trans* youth, queer adults, and also older queer clients who helped shape their generation’s communities, the answer is often more complex than the biological family of origin would suggest.

Polyamory, Co-Parenting, Rainbow Families

Polyamory as a consciously lived form of multiple partnership has become an established relationship model over the past 20 years — the Chair of Relationship Research at the University of Tübingen, relationship practices such as Pinkstinks, and the DGSG (German Society for Social Gender Studies) have contributed to this. In the genogram, polyamory requires its own convention: not "affair" (with its connotation of secrecy), but a structurally visible multiple bond, with hierarchies or deliberate non-hierarchy.

Co-parenting describes constellations in which children are raised together without the carers forming a romantic couple — for example, a lesbian woman with a gay man, or two queer couples raising a child together. The legal situation in Germany is underdeveloped here: family law recognises two parents, not three or four. In the genogram, however, lived reality can be depicted, with a clear distinction between legal and social parenthood.

Rainbow families in the narrower sense (same-sex couples with children) have been largely legally recognised in Germany since marriage equality (2017), but still face specific societal challenges — for example, stepchild adoption, which until 2024 was the norm for lesbian couples rather than automatic co-parenthood.

Clinical Issues: Minority Stress, Coming Out, Generational Comparison

In his widely cited 2003 article in the Psychological Bulletin, Ilan H. Meyer introduced the minority stress model: LGBTQIA+ individuals experience, in addition to general life stressors, specific burdens — experiences of discrimination, internalised stigmatisation, anticipation of rejection. These stressors explain a significant part of the increased prevalence of psychological distress in the group; they are not a result of queer identity itself, but of society’s reaction to it.

For genogram work, it is relevant that these stressors operate across generations. An older lesbian client may have been unable to name her relationship within her family of origin for decades; her experience is structurally different from that of a 25-year-old who grew up in an accepting environment. The genogram can make this generational shift visible — and at the same time honour the pioneering work done by the older generation.

Coming out reactions can be recorded in the genogram, if the client wishes — as a date, with a reaction symbol (accepting, ambivalent, rejecting). This often makes visible that the reactions of individual family members varied greatly, and that the family also learns over time.

Language Sensitivity in Practice

Three points are methodologically non-negotiable:

Clarify pronouns, do not assume. The standard question "Which pronouns do you use?" belongs at the start of the conversation, not in a specialised exception. Pronouns can change; it is worth checking briefly at each new session.

Avoid dead-naming. The former name of a trans* person (the "dead name") is not used in notation, unless the person explicitly wishes so. If historical documents contain this name, it can appear as an annotation, but it does not belong in the ongoing language of counselling.

Reflect on your own language. Referring to "normal families" or "real siblings" (as opposed to — what?) linguistically marks queer constellations as deviations. Such phrases creep in; sensitivity to this is part of good practice.

Practice Vignette

A 17-year-old trans client, assigned female at birth, comes to the counselling centre. In the first attempt at a genogram, he dutifully draws the family of origin — mother, stepfather, half-siblings. When the practitioner asks "Who else is important to you?", the drawing changes: he adds his flatmate, with whom he has lived for two years, as a "sister"; an older trans mentor he met online appears as an "aunt"; a classmate is entered as a "brother". The biological family is now at the edge, the chosen family at the centre. Only this visualisation makes it clear to both the practitioner and the client where his actual protective factors lie — and where interventions need to be targeted if these structures are threatened.

State of Research & Discussion

The research on minority stress (Meyer 2003 and subsequent studies) is well established and recognised by major psychotherapeutic associations (APA, DGPPN, BPtK). Specific effectiveness studies on queer-affirmative genogram work are more limited — Belous et al. presented an update of the sexual genogram in the American Journal of Family Therapy in 2012, which also integrates LGBTQIA+ constellations; Galvin (2014) further developed the concept of "Genograms Redrawn" for LGBT-affirmative practices.

In German-speaking countries, queer-affirmative family therapy manuals have only been available since around 2018. Erika Rohr, Mai Hagenah, and Faith Tongun provided important impetus in 2020; the German Association of Systemic Therapy and Family Therapy (DGSF) and the SG (Systemic Society) have established relevant further training programmes in recent years.

An open debate concerns how far symbol extensions should go without becoming confusing. Some advocate for minimally invasive extensions (annotations instead of new symbols), others for a fundamentally new symbol set. Both positions have merit; in practice, the choice of convention is often pragmatically determined by the software used.

A second controversy concerns the issue of pathologisation: for a long time, homosexuality, and later trans identity, were classified as diagnoses. In 2019, the WHO removed trans identity from the ICD chapter on mental disorders (ICD-11). This history is reflected in the genogram: what was once entered as a "symptom" is now simply an identity marker — if the client wishes.

Cross-References

  • Module 1 "Family Forms Worldwide" — Diversity as a Starting Point
  • Module 3 "Couple Therapy" — Couple Dynamics in Queer Constellations
  • Module 4 Lesson 9 "Sexual Genogram" — Belous Update
  • Module 4 Lesson 4 "Spiritual Genogram" — When Religion and Queer Identity Collide

Further Links